These past few months I have clearly been avoiding this blog for reasons I have yet to discover. All I can come up with is the fact that life sometimes seems too busy to do what you want to do, and then when you finally have time you are too tired to actually do it. It’s been a while, but here goes nothing.
Everyone always says “write what you know.” Well, these past few months seem to be more focused on what I don’t know, so let me tell you a little about that.
This morning was a little rough on Belle, and it all started when Dad said goodbye as he was headed out the door to work. She had a mini meltdown and was pretty worked up until I turned on her current favorite movie (Rio 2). Must be something about those colors and the music that she can’t help but dance to.
As I look back on 2017 one of the things we have been talking about doing all year is traveling. As a family, we tend to come up with a million reasons and excuses as to why we shouldn’t travel. We try to convince ourselves that we don’t have the time or the money. Then there’s that whole autism thing which seems to make everything in life just a little different for us.
Before Belle, I could never understand why people chose to continue to be stay-at-home parents when their children are in school. Boy, oh, boy, did life smack me in the face with that one! Now, I find myself wondering how families can get anything done with two parents working full time. Our little family falls somewhere in the middle. Belle’s dad works full time, and I work part time with a flexible schedule that allows me to take Belle to school, and pick her up from school every day. That is something I am incredibly grateful for, but unfortunately, most days it feels like I am just going through the motions.
Like many other families, we find this time of year to be especially busy. Not only do we have the holiday season among us, but we also have many birthdays to celebrate, as well. As much as we enjoy getting together with family and celebrating those holidays and birthdays, it also causes a lot of stress.
Maybe the world needs autism.
Everyone seems to be trying to find a cause for autism. They are asking complicated questions, and expecting complicated answers, but maybe autism is simple. Maybe autism is as simple as a genetic code. As simple as how your hair, and eye color are determined. Maybe it’s in the genes–predetermined and unchangeable. Belle has brown hair, brown eyes, and autism.
We tossed the idea around for well over a year before we finally decided to jump in, and join the blogging world. We had a vision of sharing our story, and a strong desire to help others who may be beginning a similar journey, and give them hope.
As Belle’s dad mentioned in the previous post (Where is all of the autism support?), it is clear that there simply is not enough information available to parents with children on (or potentially on) the autism spectrum. There is also no mention of how we, as parents, might be feeling.
Are any other autism moms (or dads) out there as familiar with anger as I am?
My emotions have been all over the board since the beginning of our journey, and, quite frankly, I’m embarrassed to admit how often I feel angry about our situation. Even as I write this, I feel ridiculous! I mean, seriously! Shouldn’t I be focused on the positives here? I have a happy, and healthy little girl. That, in itself, is enough to be grateful for.
I wouldn’t change my child for the world, but I would change the world for my child.
So often I see this phrase. The question is, how can we even expect to change the world for our children when our reaction to those who don’t understand is hateful? It’s easy to judge these people, and to assume that they’re jerks, but that might not always be the case. To me, the answer is education.